20/4 And the world grinds to a halt. Again.

So, things have been a little better since the last post. UK History was made with the arrival of the Election Debates with probably the most ironic title sequence I'd seen since "The Day Today" or "Brass Eye". I was waiting for a proper historic moment that could be analysed over and over again like the Zapruder film ("back and to the left") but it turned out to be a rather weak affair.

For about twenty minutes.

Then it all started to change and Mr Yellow started edging out in front of Mr Red and Mr Blue and stayed out in front, trading off on the squabbles that Red and Blue thought would derail each other.

And then a volcano erupts and spews out a plume of ash that engulfs the European air space and grounds all flights in what seems to be twelve hour increments ("until at least one o'clock tomorrow morning").

Neeson is in Thailand having decided that he wants to get into wholesale furniture importing and was due back yesterday but cannot get a flight into the UK. He's trying to source an alternate method by selling off his supply of legal highs he acquired now that Methadrone has been made illegal.

So, I can't talk to him for at least another week. I'm bored and need to talk politics - something he knows fuck-all about but it'll both make us feel better to bitch about everyone involved.

I'm not political and, apparently, I'm one of ten million people who tuned in because they don't know what the bloody hell is going on. All they know is they fancy a bourbon over a custard cream without getting crumbs all over the place.

I still don't know what to do as it's now become an election of celebrity. "Elex-Factor". I hate X Factor but, if Simon Cowell gets Gordon Brown to sing "I Will Survive", I may just endure another five years...

Ooh - while I remember, Radio Four is playing a great little series on Friday mornings. A chap called David Sedaris sharing short semi-autobiographical stories of his life and family. It's wonderful stuff and I have found a number of audio books on a certain fruits ubiquitous music library. I recommend a listen - especiallay to all those people who can't get home at the moment.

TTFN